Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
