a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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