I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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