omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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