I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everyone says I win the strip club