I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
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he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
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I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it