kristin has been a bad kristin
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
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Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.