apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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