I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
