Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
