You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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