The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
