Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My liver just had a heart attack.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
