I seem to have left my pride at pride
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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