Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house