So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway