it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
