guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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