The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
