It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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