so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
