All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
