Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
