if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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