So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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