How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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