Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
