What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
