i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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