I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
