he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
