did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
