ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
