i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
