i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
