I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
