You were right. It hurts to walk today.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
