i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
