oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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