like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
