im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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