Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
