i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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