he thought i was a dude.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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