he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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