I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
