I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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