words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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