ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
