Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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