shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
