P.S. I can't hear my feet
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
