you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the day after is always just damage control
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
