at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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