His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
