this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i think im in europe. pls send help
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
