So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
