Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
