yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
