I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
